REVIEW: Evil Blizzard – ‘Everybody Come To Church’


Pain, suffering, twisted distortion, JOY. Welcome to the fucking CHURCH, Mothef*ckers. Imagine John Lydon screaming, Hawkwind backing him up, and then mangle that up with bloody dollop of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That.

Evil Blizzard, apparently of Preston if you read their FaceBook blurb. Preston? Really? Get to fuck – are ASTOUNDINGLY good hard rock goodness, reminiscent of old skool gems such as Fields of The Nephilim, with the discordant twang of the Sisters, and the driving swirling rhythms of Hawkwind and other darker, seedier segments of rock. These guys goin’ to mess you up good, and you may get dem’ to put you back togevver if you beg on your knees nicely.

‘Are You Evil’ twists your brain, and screws with your internals, the discordant twang of the horror chilling your soul. Balloon, reminiscent of Lydon’s screams in PIL breaks you apart with a sonic chainsaw, and laughs at your tattered remains. Get down on your knees, filth, for Bow Down and Pray with deep and dirty bass and unrepentant lyrics and fairground reprise – BOW DOWN, Mofo. WTF is THIS you cry as ‘Laughing Gas’ kicks in, with it’s Joker cackling – laughing AT you, NOT with you – and then you delight in the unpleasantly addictive warble, like sonic CRACK, that’s produced from the singers Perry Farrell like fabulous drawl, with blooded teeth. ‘Sacrifice’ drums bound into your face, while synth and vocals cut you UP in their relentless tirade on the senses, until the GUITAR cuts you in TWO. Huzzah! Punch you in the face lyrics and UMPH until your throat is raw and your hands bleed from clapping. Come on! The JEWEL of the album, in my humble opinion.

‘Spread The Fear’ is a change of tack, and a change of gear when we see EB go LeftField, reggae influenced, with a slow – yet sinister, dreamy – beat, surely designed to catch you off guard before the pain begins anew. Bastards. As we suspected, ‘Stupid People’ comes back with an elbow in the groin, a kick in the face, and a “who do you think we are – pussies?” driving guitar and wonderful bass line. Are you stupid people or what? Watching starts slow, very reminiscent of – once again – FoTN, building slowly with dusty guitars and a menacing gaze, all in the dark, until the pounding rhythms of the drums begin, of course. Then – and scratch the previous recommendation – the lyrics and pounding ‘I Am Watching You’ thunder into your SOUL in a truly epic, Lemmy inspired Hawkwind driving, distracting breathing unignorable attention seeking NEED. You MUST be part of this, THIS needs YOU. You can’t hold BACK now. JOIN it. Wow!

All in all, ladies and gentle folk, if you like ROCK – You like to have your insides twisted, your mind BLOWN, your face MELTED, then I cannot recommend this dark, abused and seriously messed up album enough. Certainly I will be down the front when they come around.

I invite you to join me. You know you’ll like it, and you know it will fuck you up.

Happy Christmas. 🙂

Tour dates

11th Trades Club, Hebden Bridge
27th Wagon & Horses, Birmingham
28th The Barfly, Camden w/ Bad Guys

19th The Academy, Manchester

Evil Blizzard’s Facebook page

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